M-chan Wars: Rise and Fall of the Cat Tyrant – Chapter 9: Attack of the Alliance, Part 1

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– Memory log 2: 2LT Redshirt –

With the roar of our Leader giving us the attack order, I find myself among the first charging towards the gates. This is a bit ridiculous as it’s probably impossible for us the get through the gates without aid in blasting them open first.

Just as that thought begin to fill my mind, two figures zoomed past the first of us at unbelievable speed towards the gates. With a loud BOOM, the gates were ripped from their giant hinges, falling inwards onto whatever unfortunate CAT that remained there.

As we approached the two, I recognised them to be COL Hitagi and MRC DarkCloud Asuno Hatsuko.

Looking back at us, the Colonel gave me a spine shivering wink and shouted, “We’ll be going a HEAD first”, before the two took off at the same speed as before.

Rushing in, legions of CATs awaited us as they began their own forward charge. Armed with ridiculous bulky armor and giant clubs, I wondered how they would fare against our advanced weaponry.

Raising an arm, I order the first wave to halt and begin firing upon the enemies. Without a single hint of hesitation, the CAT legions continued marching towards us. As our formation was completed, I swung my raised arm forward while shouting the command to fire.

As our bullets gunned down lines after lines of enemies, the legions resumed their forward charge with an unwavering spirit.

[Frontline HQ. This is 2LT Redshirt. Requesting immediate artillery support on the main gates!]

Shortly after my request, artillery fire could be heard from behind us. After 2 minutes of bombardment, the legions were reduced to ashes. Preparing to give the order to move now, I took a step back when I saw giant holes appearing in the ground before us as metal gates on the ground opened up, revealing a platform with Giant CAT Mechas on them.

[Holy shi-] was my last message to frontline HQ as I barely dodge the blast of a rocket launched at us by one of the CAT mechas…

– User mind signature disrupted…ending log –

– End of memory log 2: 2LT Redshirt –


Meanwhile, at the private quarter of the higher CAT council:

– User recognised: Greetings, 2LT Syafri –
– User recognised: Greetings, MAJ John –
– User recognised: Greetings, CPT Sanjay –
– User recognised: Greetings, MSG Khairul –

– Beginning CAT-mem…Memory log 1 recording: 2LT Syafri –

Raising my head, I looked at the Alliance officers in front of me; formerly my prisoners but now freed in exchange for a better future in the M-Chan Alliance. Also in the room is a hand-picked squad of 12 CATS who I believe are loyal to only me due to their immense hatred of Tyrant Cat, who has since deprived them of pettankos and lolis by assigning them to prison duties.

Armed with smuggled anti-CAT weaponry, each of us is now have a laser pistol and a bandolier containing 12 Catnipades. While the pistol is capable of killing, doing so takes a lot more energy than stunning. Hence, we wanted to save as much energy as possible for the assassination of Cat.

As MAJ John reaches for a sushi knife lying the table, he looks at me and asks, “I know what’s in it for you. But what if we don’t succeed?”

“Better than an eternity as a prison warden torturing you who likes it more than I do.”

“Good answer. I will let you have the first taste of Cat’s blood later when I slice him open slowly…ALIVE, of course.” says the Major as he licks the sharp blade of the knife without cutting himself.

“I can’t wait to get my hands on that Cat either. It will be HANDS ON for me if I don’t find anything worth torturing it with as we go up…or maybe a broken wine glass would do.” adds MSG Khairul.

Feeling a twitch in my eye, I turned to face the door as I heard footsteps of a CAT approaching from MAJ Lurker’s room. Knocking on the door, the CAT presumes no one to be in and turns the door handle, but stops when I shouted, “What is it?”

“NYAA! Is that you inside, Sir?” replied the surprised CAT after a brief pause.

“Yes! Now away with you! I need to groom my tail!”

“Y-Yes Sir!” replies the cat again as it scurries down the corridor outside.

Making a sigh of relief, MAJ John grabs me on the shoulder, telling me it’s time.

“But Lurker’s instructions are…!”

“Too late. That CAT probably noticed the lack of NYAA~ in your speech. And really now, your voice is not that of a CAT either.” says the major as he prepares to leave the room.

Cursing my inattentiveness, I readied myself as well.

– End of memory log 1: 2LT Syafri –


– Memory log 1: PVT FML –

Standing guard outside Frontline Command, I could see the battle raging from here. With artillery shells fired just moments ago, giant CAT-like robots are now rampaging through the battlefield.

From what I could see, it took a company of Yanderes to take down a single one earlier, with hundreds more baring down on us. Suddenly, I heard a voice shouting “Wait, Leader!” coming from within the tentage.

Walking out was our mighty Leader Simon, following him was MG Simba. As the Major general tried to persuade our Supreme Commander from joining the battle so soon, our Leader replied with “Our men and lovely ladies are giving their lives away out there. You expect me to cower in a tent? General, I am ordering you to take over my role as Commanding Officer as of now.”

As he stomped off, removing his heavy overcoat, MG Simba turned back looking utter displeased. Noticing our presence, he shouts, “Well what are you waiting for?! Give your leader some cover fire!”

“Yes, Sir” was the reply given by all of us in the area, who chased after SC Simon.

– End of memory log 1: PVT FML –


– Memory log 1: CPT (CAT) Angel –

Standing at the top of the grand stairs leading to the inner halls of the Church, I looked down upon the battlegrounds that was the front lawn of our divine Church.

Beside me was CPT (CAT) Kaiki, who wanted to be among the first to do battle against an Alliance Key Officer. As our CAT mechas ravaged the battlefield, I wondered if there was even the need for the even greater forces we have on standby.

It was then which I noticed to figures approaching us at great speed. Lifting my two-handed sword Nyaa~liabur, I readied myself for the enemies approaching.

Finally reaching the top of the stairs where we stood, the two that appeared were none other than COL Hitagi and MRC DarkCloud Asuno Hatsuko. Raising my hand, I spoke.

“Neither of you shall get pass. For you will perish my my blade.”

“Hold on there, Angel. I reckon we let the Colonel go. After all, our own Colonel won’t be too happy to hear we disobeyed his orders, right?” says CPT (CAT) Kaiki.

“So you have a Colonel as well? My shtick is dying to meet his then…after I’m done with YOU TWO!” replies Hitsun.

As he leapt towards me in the blink of an eye, he stops his attack at the last moment, displaying a face full of rage I have never seen before.

“What is this…I have a good~ feeling I will be needing all my strength after all. How about it, Hatsuko?”

“I was almost sad to have been forgotten for a while there. I CAN’T WAIT TO MAKE MINCEMEAT OF THESE TWO MYSELF!” replies MRC DarkCloud as she raises a huge spiked mace in one hand and a bulky mechanised sword-like weapon in the other.

With that said, COL Hitagi proceeds with smashing downing the giant doors of our Church with his Yaoi Shtick and resumes his journey at unfathomable speed. Turning to face the armoured woman before us, I lowered my sword.

“Well Kaiki. I think you are enough for the likes of her.”

Before I could have another word, a thin wire leaves a small cuts on my cheek.

“Enough whining, bitches. I will take the both of you on at the same time and have more than enough energy left to slowly torture that Cat of yours.”

Enraged, I raise my Nyaa~calibur, shouting “MOE JUSTICE! NNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!!!!” with CPT (CAT) Kaiki on my side holding his tail in his hand, ready to fire his gas attack.

– End of memory log 1: CPT (CAT) Angel –


– Memory log 1: LTC Aiel –

Stationed here at Alliance HQ, I have been tasked with the important job of observing the overall situation while providing feedback critical to the success of our mission to bring down the Cat Tyrant. Though I’m still in a bit of disbelief with regards to this scenario myself, the deaths I have seen in my short time here are by no means to be taken lightly.

With both my hands, I give myself a quick wake-up slap to focus on the battle before me. As I gave an order to deploy more troops to the frontline, a Sergeant reports to me about the arrival of a prisoner.

Apparently, CPT Kaiki wanted to talk to me.

Though I shouldn’t be leaving my position at this point, the prisoner was a former Key Officer of Cat who might have some useful information that we could use.

“All right. Give me 5 minutes. I will be down shortly.” Passing my command down to my second-in-command, MAJ Yuno, I followed the Sergeant down to the holding area.

Approaching the prisoner, I loudly said, “You are wasting my time, you fiend. Now say your piece before we damn you to your cell till the battle is over.”

Raising his head slowly, CPT Kaiki smirks and proceeds to speak. “Now Sir, why so serious?”

Before I got a chance to reply, the Sergeant that led me here, shoved me head first towards the prisoner, who releases a deadly explosion of green gas.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! NOW. Cat will be pleased to hear Alliance HQ reporting to him~” was the last thing I heard before collapsing into a slump.

– User consciousness fading…terminating logging process –

– End of memory log 1: LTC Aiel –

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