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– Memory log 1: SC Simon –
Treading upon the burned soil of the battlefield, I removed my overcoat to cover the battered corpse of a loli. Mumbling “It will all end soon”, I set my sight on a CAT mecha a kilometre away.
Feeling a surge of emotions through my body, I let it all burst out in an explosive roar. As the CAT mecha turned its head to me, I charged my O.T.A.K.U powers to its maximum.
“I’m the embodiment of a thousand NEETs. I stride through the crowded streets of Akiba. Now hear my calling by those before me! FOR I AM HE WHO REPRESENTS ALL WHO HAS FOUND MOE! BESTOW UPON ME, MY LOVE! I AM HERC SIMON!”
As my noble phantasm now flooded my existence, I could feel every muscle movement in my body. Leaping forward, my feather light self flew towards the CAT mecha and in a single uppercut, it was sent flying through the air before exploding.
Striking down my first foe, I let out a hearty roar as the remaining hundreds turn to face me, he would destroyed a CAT mecha in a single hit. Leaping forth once more, I took down CAT mechas one after another with ease, reducing their numbers from hundreds to tens.
As I destroyed the last of the CAT robotic madness, I could hear the distant cheers as 1LT Mark and his squad of yanderes approached me from behind. Before we had a chance to speak, a loud siren rung throughout the area.
Watching two giant CAT statues breaking free from their concrete shell, thousands of CATs came rushing out from underground passageways, along with more holes appearing in the ground, revealing CAT war machines in all sorts of variety.
Hearing the sounds of jet engines in the skies, I look up to see an assortment of Alliance fighters and bombers flying towards the Church. Before they could reach their target, a sortie of flying machines in the form of Nyaacats appears from behind the Oppai statue, intercepting our jets.
Before I had the chance to do anything, I felt a significant presence approaching at great speed. Immediately performing an uppercut, my fist deflects the twin blades of the unknown assailant from above. Jumping away from me after his attack, he lands 10 metres away from me.
“So Leader. Ready to retire permanently?”
“No, Nathanael. I will not rest till Eros is returned to its original love for all. Mark, I will leave the mob to you.”
Beginning our one on one fight on this chaotic battlefield, I face off against GEN (CAT) Nathanael with my FISTS OF LOVE AND JUSTICE.
– End of memory log 1: SC Simon –
– Memory log 1: MSG Ahyaa –
“This is Eagle 1, enemy flying target spotted. Proceeding to intercept.”
“Eagle 1, exercise caution. The enemy has capabilities not known to us. Take them down promptly.”
Letting out a sigh into my breather, I find myself in the cockpit of a fighter jet as Eagle 4. Having abandoned my position in the initial battle, I made it in time for the last vessel that left Port BT in relative safety.
Unfortunately, I ran into an old friend of mine in M-chan airforce, who thought I was finally leaving the army to join her. Without the will to resist her forceful antics, I found myself transferring over to outer region naval airbase, Fort TSU-TSUN.
After receiving a call for help from MG Simba, the two of us were deployed as pilots to board one of the ten aircraft carriers set for reinforcing the Alliance at M-chan mainland.
[“Ahyaa-kun. AHYAA-KUN! Pay attention, will you?”]
[“Ah sorry, Mao-san.”]
[“We are in the middle of a battle now. Do you really have that much of a death wish?”]
[“I’m switching Comms to silent mode now. Pay attention and try not to die, thank you.”]
“All eagles! Take caution! The enemy fighters seem to have no ranged combat abilities! However, that rainbow tart like main body of theirs have the ability to stick our jets onto them!”
“HELP! This is Eagle 1! My flight’s been ripped and the fuel is leaking. I think it’s going to…ARGGGGGGHHH!!!!!”
In an explosion, Eagle 1 that got stuck onto one of the Nyaacats blew up, blowing a hole in the poptart body of the Nyaacat. To our horror, that Nyaacat remained in flight without a sign of slowing down.
“What in sweet Jes-**ck! It got me! Eaglehead to all fighters! Engage all enemies! Do not let them get to our bombers!”
Taking evasive action, I narrowly avoided a Nyaacat that almost got me as it flew by.
Sighing once more, I say “This is going to be a long fight…”
– End of memory log 1: MSG Ahyaa –
– Memory log 1: CPT Christian –
Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. MOE. MOE. MOE POWAR! Resisting the cursed gas of the enemy, I recite these words in my head as I attempt to avenge the thousands of lolis that have perished under the hands…or stick of this fiend before me.
“AHAHHAHAHHAAAA…Christian-kun. Just give up already. This gas I’m using right now is the newest strain of C-Virus with 10 times more potency. How you are resisting it, I’m not interested. But you can feel yourself turning already, right?”
“Never. I will banish you from this world before I fall to any lowly attacks like yours.”
Clenching my fists, I yell out to MRC DarkCloud.
“Hatsuko! Send him flying over here!”
In response to my call, MRC DarkCloud spins to give CPT (CAT) Angel a roundhouse kick that sends him flying towards CPT (CAT) Kaiki. Breaking his fall perfectly, he lands on his two feet a metre away from CPT (CAT) Kaiki. With a few shots from 2LT Redshirt at CPT (CAT) Angel’s feet, the CAT backs a few more steps, bringing the two next to each other.
“Now. THE BOTH OF YOU SHALL PERISH! BEHOLD, MY SANCTUARY! WORLD OF YOUTH, LOLI LAND!”
Reality distorted around us as the five of us were brought over to my domain that was an amusement park with endless cuteness about. The sound of innocent laughter and sight of beautiful smiles soon filled the place as countless lolis came running over to me.
As my facial expression changes to that of a happy relaxed one, a loli grabs my hand. Asking who has made me so sad, I reply with a pat on her head, saying that it’s all fine now.
“May this cuteness rid you if the evil that resides within. My ultimate attack. Eternal gardens of loli haven.”
As countless lolis begin jumping on CPT (CAT) Angel and CPT (CAT) Kaiki, I hear the pitiful cries of Kaiki as his sins are brought out from the depths of his mind. As his whimpering is silenced, I look at the lolis around me once more as they soothed my heart.
All of a sudden, a pile of lolis are sent flying as a deadly gas cloud exploded from where CPT (CAT) Kaiki stood. Cursing under his breath, he stares at me with intense hatred.
“Damn you, Christian. Saving this reality marble of yours for last. LET ME RESPOND WITH MY ULTIMATE ATTACK AS WELL!”
Adopting a super saiyan transformation pose, he roars loudly as his body expands to that of a giant man balloon.
“Now Christian, let’s go to a loliless hell together.” with a smirk on his face. “Final attack. MAYO VAPOUR!!!!!”
Imploding, the bits of his body splatters over my lolis are a mist of unknown origin lowered upon us. A yell catches my attention as one of my loli looks at me with tears streaming from her face. Followed by more screams, I watched as my lolis fade away to nothingness.
“KAIKI!!!!!” was the last thing I shouted as collapsed onto my knees, coughing out a blob of blood.
– User critically injured. Ending log to prioritise recovery –
– End of memory log 1: CPT Christian –
– Memory log 1: MRC DarkCloud –
As CPT Christian falls to his knees, his domain that is loli land remains despite his lolis mostly having disappeared. With a single one remaining by his side, it was evident he was no longer in any shape to do battle.
Thinking back, I join the battle for the sake of bloodshed and gore. The complete lack of it recently is much against my taste, not counting the fact I have yet to take revenge on COL Hitagi for his previous sexual assault. With these thoughts in my head, I can feel the emotion of rage taking over.
Grabbing my sword, Senkatto, I raise it up again as my enemy CPT (CAT) Angel pushes off the few lolis clinging onto his body, causing them to fade away as the others have.
“I can feel your love, Christian. And it is no doubt as noble as mine. However, the way we serve our liege is not in thought. Hence, battle is the only way we go.”
Leaping forward, I shout “Cut the pointless ramblings! I’m turning you into mincemeat now!” as our blades meet, and my Senkatto lodging his Nyaa~calibur in its brutal mechanical teeth.
“A pity. You who are filled with nothing but pointless bloodlust and distasteful fetishes.”
“What did you say?” I reply with anger as I pulled out an explosive kunai from the side of my leg armor.
From behind me, 2LT Redshirt shouts a warning. Looking up I saw an abnormal cloud above our position. Using the fat CAT’s body as a wall, I kicked him to push myself backwards as I narrowly escape a bolt of lightning from the cloud above.
Letting go off Senkatto in order to dodge that attack, it remains on the CAT’s sword, slowly grinding away at it. The CAT, seemingly undisturbed by his sword being eaten away, lower it to speak once more.
“Enough of your imprudent acts! You will now submit to me, as you will to our mighty god, Tirtha!”
Raising his sword with both arms, he shouts “BE BLOWN AWAY! NYYAAAA~~~CALIBURRRRR!!!!”
As a bright white light rips through CPT Christian’s domain, I feel a hand pushing me on the chest till I was behind a large figure.
– End of memory log 1: MRC DarkCloud –
– Memory log 2: CPT (CAT) Putra –
Sitting on the top of a broken pillar, I watch as COL (CAT) Hitsun faced off against his human self, COL Hitagi. Taking a mouthful of popcorn, I nearly choked when the two fired multiple shots of bukkake mayo at each other, only to have each shot countering each other.
Considering it was almost exactly the same person fighting each other, I can’t imagine the battle to end in anything other than a stalemate. As I got up and prepared to leave, COL Hitagi stops for a bit to speak.
“As expected of me, defeating you won’t be easy at all. Looks like I will have to give this my ALL!”
In unison, the two grabs onto their Yaoi Shtick and begins stroking it furiously. Having seen enough hentai to know where this is going, I jumped from the pillar to the roof of the Church, through a hole they had made earlier, in hopes of watching their climax while avoiding a sticky ending.
At the same time, they both shouted “Take this! MAXIMUM PLEASURE! UNISEX MAYO MILK BLAST!!!!”
Their high pressured shot burst from their Yaoi Shticks in a head on collision, converting into an explosion of Mayo Milk from the point of impact. Ducking low, I lowered my body to the section of roof I was standing on as the entire top floor of the Church is obliterated.
Riding a wave of the white sticky substance, I skillfully surf my way back onto the now half-metre deep shallow pool of Mayo Milk that covers the floor of the now desecrated prayer hall that was the top floor of the Church.
Looking around, only one CAT figure remained standing. From the looks of it, the clone has beaten its original.
“Congrats~ Hitsunyan. Looks like you are now the one and only Hitagi.”
Turning to face me, COL (CAT) Hitsun replies, “My original had overestimated his own power and fell to an attack of hi-HRRNNGHHH!!!”
Before he could finish his sentence, a figure covered in the white substance jumped out from the shallow pool and with a single shove, COL (CAT) Hitsun was now deeply penetrated by the mysterious white figure.
“ULTIMATE COMBO! SENNEN NO YOROKOBI!” yells the mysterious figure.
The loud yell causes the white substance on his face to be blown away, revealing him to be COL Hitagi.
“You- nyan~” mumbles COL (CAT) Hitsun as he attempts to break free.
“Now, I have always wonder how doing myself would feel like…I guess it’s pretty good after all!” says COL Hitagi as he makes a thrust into his clone.
Despite feeling disgusted at the sight of this, I could feel my inner dragon raising to the decadent sight before me. As COL Hitagi increased his thrusts per second, I could see that COL (CAT) Hitsun was being to feel it as well.
The two were now huffing and purring like cats in heat. Sensing the end was near, I looked around for cover again but saw none. Cursing my voyeuristic nature, I stood my ground as the climax approached.
“Now, me. In? Or out?” says COL Hitagi to his other self. With an ahegao on his face, it was evident that COL (CAT) Hitsun no longer heard a word from his surroundings.
“In it is then.” says COL Hitagi in his final thrust, yelling “MAXIMUM YAOI SELFCEST!!!!”
The body of COL (CAT) Hitsun begins to expand rapidly before blowing up into a thousand bits, with the Yaoi Milk now bursting out in all directions. Standing tall with his Yaoi Shtick still throbbing, he turns to face me.
“So Putra-chin~~~. Are you going to be my next opponent?”
“Haha…no thanks. I rather watch the battle as it goes…now if you will excuse me, I have another show to watch after I change my clothes.”
Before he could reply, I leaped off the edge of the floor and onto an observer bot that flies me back to my quarters.
– End of memory log 2: CPT (CAT) Putra –